F*ck

Wow.

After a whole fucking year of procrastination, I finally abandon a dota 2 match and actually physically type something on the keyboard.

I use to pride myself on my English standards but fuck it cause being "ang-moh" isn't really me and no one reads this shitssszs anyway.

Hehe I said but(t) fuck it.

Anywhore

It feels so so good to be blogging again, there's this feeling of ecstasy I just can't quite explain, it's like when God decided to make Man and he had like this whole mental image of what's its gonna be like and he just can't wait to finish it. That rush of euphoria, looking at his own creation.

Or a junkie when he's high.

So yea, fuck. Why fuck? Cause fuck, fucking everything's in shambles now.

Fuck cause I can't seem to be bothered to type a whole fucking paragraph THEN space break cause I can't write for shit and I want to make my post seem long and thoughtful.

It's been such a tough ride this past year, don't even know where to begin.

I literally just sat and stare at my computer screen for a good whole 10 mins because I really have no fucking clue where to begin.

Lets just go to the more recent and vivid events.

Army.

Broke up.

Single. (again)

No ORD plan.

Smoking fucking bans every fucking where.

Friends.

Minimum fucking wage.

Army.

Well, lest I incur the wraith of older generations of soldiers, I just want to say YA LAR YA LAR YOU ALL LAST TIME MORE XIONG MORE TOUGH LAR, SIBEI GARANG WOR.

I don't understand why people keep saying we are the "cherry generation" and how NS now is so "easy" as compared to the past.

newnation.sg

Look, I get what you went through is tough, hell, it might even be true what you say, it was harder in the past.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IT STILL IS TOUGH NOW! :DDDDDDDD

Every fucking where I go when I say I'm serving they go "you all now cherry one la!"HEY GUYS, THIS IS NOT FUCKING "WHOSE GENERATION IS THE TOUGHEST!!!!" GAME SHOW. It's not a fucking competition, and even if it is, THE FUCK YOU WANT WIN FOR? OK LOR BRO YOU BEST YOU GARANG, LIDDAT MY 2 YEARS YOU SERVE FOR ME ALSO LA OK

If you, like me who went to serve ahead of your poly/jc/whatever -ly or -c friends then OHOHOHO get ready to see yourself talking to ......yourself:DD

I don't blame them, if they were to talk about their studies and GPA what have you nots I'm gonna get bored too, except they can turn to other friends to talk to and well you, you are left with either the condescending "lao jiaos" (more like lan jiao) OR you can just talk to yourself, because army ain't the trending topic bro.

Unsurprisingly, girls are the same.

I know there are some people out there who despite everything, still manages to keep ns and civilian life apart and to that bro, I salute.

Unfortunately for the rest of us, or at least me, who can't seem to separate ns life from your civilian life, we slowly just sink deeper and deeper. Every book out I feel so lost, so empty, on one hand I love the fire fights, I'm a machine gunner and that feeling of firing 8 rounds per second I will never forget, but on the other, I just..... miss home, my friends, that time when nothing stood between the bond we had.

I miss the times when we all hang out and just talk our hearts out but now when we meet for some reason, I have nothing to say, it's just army this army that. I don't know if you have forgotten me but I don't reach out or call or text because I don't know what to say, fuck, it even gets boring sometimes. Still, I can't forget the times when we went through the worst shit together and came out stronger.

I was shocked to find out I actually miss home a lot and that I love my parents more than I think. I still remember vividly on the 4th night out in the field, my dad wrote me a letter, it wasn't long or anything because my dad is on of those typical asian dad that don't express their love through words, I remember it was raining and so fucking cold, boots soaking wet, I haven't had solid food for 4 days, stomach was piled full of shit due to constipation from the combat rations, I just wanted to read the stupid letter and get to sleep, I teared it open and there was just this one sentence "你是我的好儿子"(you are my good son)

I fucking cried like a bitch.

I didn't gave a fuck if my impression was like an ah beng, I just fucking cried, fuck, I didn't really hate my parents but we weren't close and when my day of enlistment came I thought I was gonna be some special forces James Bond fuck celebs err day err night kind of agent.

It was just infantry.