A little extra

The human heart is a very irratating organ sometimes. I know it's the main organ keeping us alive but....it justs fucks up really bad sometimes.


I don't know, it's hard going into something with no backup, no extraction method, basically, NOTHING.

My brain's telling me to let go but I can't. My brain's telling me to find back all my backup plans but I promised so I fight everyday. Everyday I wait with no regrets, everyday I live on the hope of our future together but it is so damn hard. 

My heart's still burning strong but I'm still human and I REALLY REALLY don't want to see the day that it burns out. I shudder to think what would happen.

I hate myself sometimes, I hate always asking you when, I hate myself for being so clingy, I hate myself for always looking for confirmation, I hate myself for making you so angry and fustrated over us.

I just, I seen enough. Not alot but enough, and now I know what I want. I think of you when I'm making some decisions, I think of you everytime my brain leads me back to my old path of vice, you became such an integral part of my life it's hard to put you down. It's hard to not get too attached, it's hard to let go of things between us, it's hard to let you go, even for a second.

I have a life of my own but I don't like to compartmentalize, you BECAME my life when you came in, platonic or not.

You are unsure of the future but I say fuck it, let's go in blind together and see where it takes us. I know it's not how you plan to live life but some things, you can never plan because you will never be prepared.

I don't care how long I have to wait, because I know you are worth it. Don't tell me to walk away, to find someone better because I already found you and I'm not leaving.

I say don't be scared of the pain, everything is an experience, if I wasted your life on you, I still leave with no regrets, no grudges because I would come out stronger, yoI would come out more experienced, I would come out a little wiser. Vice-versa.

I say lets live our lives a little crazy. I say let's go in without a plan for once, I say we fight whatever comes our way.

I say, lets dare to love.


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