It's not you, it's just......Well it's you

Damn right.

My life is NOT complicated. It really is'nt, I go to school, work, go home, meet friends, THAT'S IT. I might have trouble acadamically and sometimes socially BUT nothing I could'nt handle. Just your typical teenager wading through life. AND THEN COMES THIS ONE PERSON.

I guess what I really want to say here is, should you continue wasting/sacrificing/giving your time to someone that does'nt feel the same way you do? Basically, as much as I hate to say it, FRIENDZONE.

My life was smooth sailing, I finally got my shit together, stopped day dreaming and got a little more serious towards my future. AND THEN SHE RE-APPEARED. If history has proved anything, a woman could mean lifting you into the heavens or crushing your entire soul into little chunks of fish food.

Now before I continue, know that no one's the bad guy here or whatever. Maybe you could blame the girl but that would totally be your choice. (blame the girl) (she's totally the bad guy here) (just kidding)

I don't know if it's because I'm blind and stupidly oblivious to everything or the fact that I actually listened to my friend's advice but I thought I actually had something going on. 

Maybe I mis-read the signs but before I was a mess and now that I'm all cleaned up with a clear vision of what I wanted I thought maybe, just maybe I could have someone by my side when I reached my goal. Someone to celebrate with. Of course, I dispelled the thought immediately and started walking away.

To my surprise she only edge closer, OR SO I THOUGHT. I would be lying to say that I was'nt happy. I played it slow, careful, small steps only, I helped with whatever baggage she bought wth her. 

Jesus, just typing this makes me feel uneasy.

Anyway when my hopes are high, she dropped me a text saying she was sorry it was'nt me, though what I think she meant was "thanks for being the rebound guy fucktard, I played you and you did'nt even see it coming, better luck dipshit lol"

It was like a really really painful sucker punch. I can't blame anyone cause I let it happen. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with people not liking me, it's the fact you PRETENED you did that really gets me. 

I was really fucked up for that entire day.

Sorry just does'nt cut it. Just when I got my shit together this happens. It really made me re-think alot of stuff. I don't hate her or anything, for all I know she might think I'm ok, she might not even know she fucked my life up.

It's like cleaning up your room and then a friend ask if they can have a party in your room and you said ok and then they messed up the entire place. 

I shoud really stop with the analogys.

Anyway, in a few weeks time I will be going off to join some competition so make sure you stick around cause I'm gonna blog about the hotel and lots of other stuff. 

My blog pitch is really getting rusty.


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